hurt

It hurts and i wish that i could have channeled into an elegant poem but i can't. My artistry is insufficient to work whatever emotions i feel into words and yet let it be restrained and subtle and yet i keep it at least from the bounds of insanity
this estrangement i can't bear

Let me disappear into Plutonian night,
That the grief of humans will not greet my sight
Let me impale myself upon a pillar of ice,
That from my flowing blood shall be taken away,
From the vagaries of fate’s mirthless dice
Would you know your callous words,
Cut so deep, incising itself upon my soul,
This searing tattoo within, an eternal mark of my hurt
If I shall now be thrown into throes of pain,
From where no redemption can be found as I search,
Search so hard in vain
I wish, for hellfire to burn at me, searing through,
Consuming my flesh, obliterate my soul,
To take away the fire within
For what use is a soul if contained within,
Are just hurt and pain, hurt and pain,
Knowing forever of an estrangement
Go I dare you devil, send me straight to hell now
I defy your fires and viles,
For your fire is only a searing of the flesh
Whereby my evanescence can only serve,
To enliven and destroy all within,
That I may find salvation if I should disappear forever,
In the fires of hell