what lies beneath

Beneath cold water in silence I lie,
Eyes wide without tears and yet I softly cry
In cold water where light and warmth I miss,
Where even tears and gasps, for fear of choking,
I painfully resist

I see myself clearer, as I am carried upwards
To submerge in this mindless dream, a cold and faceless coward
Yet, escape is denied to those that choose,
To close their eyes, to seek, this deep recluse
The self that tries to stay beneath, floats above,
Carried by laws undeniable, by hate, by love

Where before, all that was seen was merely,
Darkness, then a distant light creeping in, slowly
As the self comes to the surface, I see,
What hides beneath, bloated, decomposed and ugly

Still, that I can’t defy carries me upwards
I have been beneath, I thought I have died
The water is a mirror, calm beneath a raging tide
Me, beneath, now forced to the fore,
To see, to confront, what I have escaped before
My hand touches the surface, the visage of myself
In an instant it shatters, as I emerge,
From where in sleep I dwell

What lies beneath